


Eight Legged Introductions

by thewightknight



Series: Kylux prompts and ficlets [28]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Good Neighbors, M/M, lending a hand, spider in the shower
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-16 03:06:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10562424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewightknight/pseuds/thewightknight
Summary: Everyone told Hux it rained all the time in Seattle. Not a single person mentioned the giant wildlife.





	

**Author's Note:**

> From [this post of writing prompts](https://thewightknight.tumblr.com/post/159312526023/here-have-some-aus-as-if-there-arent-enough-on):
> 
>  _“this is totally awkward considering before this the only interactions we’ve ever had have been casual nods to each other in the hallway but there’s a huge fucking spider in my bath tub and you seem like the friendly neighbor type please help me” au_.
> 
> So, yeah, if you're arachnophobic you probably don't want to read this. And you definitely don't want to click on [this link ](http://www.spiders.us/species/eratigena-atrica/) or [this link](https://www.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/08/22/did-you-know-its-the-season-when-giant-house-spiders-walk-around-seattle-homes) to see the spider referred to in this fic.

Hux would deny with every last ounce of breath in his body that he had screamed like a little girl if anyone had been around to hear him. He may have made a startled exclamation, yes, but surely no one could blame him. I mean, who knew they made spiders that big? He’d be having nightmares for weeks now. 

He’d gone to shower after his workout, and when he’d pulled back the shower curtain to turn the water on the thing had dropped from the shower head and just missed landing on his hand by a hair’s breadth. When he picked himself up off the floor from the other side of the bathroom and crept back to the shower, he found it scrabbling around on the porcelain, trapped in the tub. 

He spent a good twenty minutes dithering about what to do, until he heard the telltale thud that signaled his upstairs neighbor’s homecoming. Said upstairs neighbor was built like a refrigerator and had the tread of an elephant and could possibly be Hux’s savior. Anyone with that many muscles shouldn’t be bothered by a spider. He’d been meaning to do more than just nod to the man in passing in the hallway ever since they’d met, but not like this. Not when he was all sweaty and with disheveled hair and dressed in ratty workout clothes. But unless he wanted to stay like this for the rest of his life, or at least his lease, this Kylo Ren was his only hope.

When he knocked, he heard a muffled shout from within.

“Just a minute!”

More banging and thudding ensued. Really. What did the man do in there? He almost left, nerve deserting him, but then he remembered the eight-legged monstrosity skittering around his tub and planted his feet. 

“Oh, hi there. You’re the guy from downstairs, right? Hux? Sorry about the noise. My roommate’s moved out and I’ve been rearranging the furniture. I should have it done by this weekend.”

“Um. Hello. That’s not why I’m here, actually.” Now came the embarrassing part. “I was wondering if you could help me with a little problem.”

“Sure! What’s up?”

“Well, there’s this thing in my shower. A spider. A disturbingly large spider. And I just moved here and I’ve got no idea if it’s poisonous or anything and … I really don’t like spiders.” He rushed through that last part, feeling the blush spread across his cheeks as he blurted out the words.

“Oh, man have you come to the right place! I love spiders!”

That was not the reaction he’d expected.

“Come on in for a minute.”

Following Kylo into his apartment, he took the opportunity to look around. The furniture seemed all IKEA, minimal and not that comfortable looking. Two bookshelves overflowing with scholarly-looking texts bracketed a giant terrarium.

“So what did your spider look like?” While Hux had distracted himself, Kylo had started rummaging through his kitchen cabinets.

“Um, it was brown, I think? And big?”

“Big body? Or long legs?”

Hux shuddered. “Legs. Legs everywhere.”

“Probably _eratigena atrica_ then.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Eratigena atrica. Otherwise known as the giant house spider. Aha! That’ll be perfect.”

“That” proved to be a wide, shallow leftover container.

“Here, hold this for a second.” Shoving the container at Hux, Kylo crossed the room and started rummaging around on the papers scattered across his dining room table. Picking up a legal sized envelope instead of one of the thick magazines, he grinned.

“Alright. Let’s go check out your little friend!”

Little? Hux trailed after Kylo as he bounded down the stairs, letting him into his apartment, comparing his colonial furniture to Kylo’s modern sparse décor. Kylo didn’t seem to notice, though, making a beeline straight for his bathroom.

“Ooooh! What a beaut!" 

“Pardon?”

“Look at her!”

“How do you know it’s a her?”

“Her palps are smaller.”

Hux refrained from asking what a “palp” was. Kylo had gotten entirely too close to the spider, in Hux’s opinion, and if Hux showed any interest he might try to insist that Hux approach too.

“Here, hold this.” He shoved the lid to the container and the envelope into Hux’s hand.

“How are you going to smash it with that?”

“Smash it! Why would I do that?”

“Sorry, that’s what I thought people did to spiders in their bathtubs.”

“Barbaric. They live here too, you know. And we’d be overrun with insects without them.”

This madman was going to try to catch the spider in his shower. Hux couldn’t look. Instead, he examined the envelope he now held. Recognizing the name of the investment firm in the address field, he made a mental revision of his previous opinion of his neighbor.

“This happens to them all the time. Poor girl just wanted a drink. Those long legs just don’t cut it on porcelain. C’mere, baby.”

This revision also included his neighbor’s sanity.

“Gotcha! Hand me the envelope, would you?”

That meant approaching the tub. Taking a deep breath and gathering his nerve, Hux inched forward. Kylo had managed to trap the spider between the bottom of the bathtub and the container.

“Here you go.” He leaned forward, arm outstretched, to keep as much distance between himself and any possible disaster. As he watched, Kylo slid the envelope between the edge of the container and the tub.

“Okay, we’re going to be okay.”

He was talking to the spider, Hux realized just as he was getting ready to respond.

“Don’t panic now. I’m just going to flip you.” Kylo mirrored motion to words, sliding one of his large hands under the envelope and inverting the container. “Okay, now I need you to slide the lid in between my hand and the envelope.”

Kylo was talking to him this time. Hux couldn’t deny it.

“What? No. Absolutely not. I’m not going near that thing.”

“It’s alright. I’ve got her. And besides, she’s not venomous.”

Holding his breath as the spider waved its legs around, resembling one of those facehugger things from the Alien movies entirely too much for his comfort, Hux held the lid out, trying to will the tremble out of his fingers. 

“That’s it. Doing good.”

This time he couldn’t tell if Kylo was addressing him or the spider. Bracing himself, he started to insert the lid under Kylo’s hand, ready to bolt the instant things started going south.

“There you go. Perfect. Now I’m going to hold the lid in place, and I need you to pull the envelope out.”

“I think I’m going to faint.”

“You’re doing fine. It’s okay. We’ll get this girl squared away and I’ll take her down to the basement where she can find a nice dark corner and she won’t bother you anymore.”

“Promise?”

“If she does, I’ll come rescue you again.”

The lid made the most beautiful noise Hux had ever heard as it snapped shut.

“Okay, I’ll get her out of here now.”

“I can’t thank you enough.” Now that they’d contained the beast, Hux could focus on the bulging muscles and silky hair and soulful eyes. “Maybe I could offer you a drink?” As soon as the words left his mouth he remembered why he’d ventured into the shower the first place. “After I get cleaned up and changed, that is.”

“That’d be great.”

“Give me twenty minutes?”

“Sure. See you then.”

As he watched Kylo walk down to the elevator, still talking to the captive spider, he shook his head. Why did he always fall for the weird ones? As soon as he closed the door, Millicent emerged from wherever she’d been hiding.

“There you are. Some help you were. Mighty hunters, my arse.”

Chirping at him, Millicent followed him into the bathroom, taking up her normal position on the toilet seat as he started the shower.

“We’re going to have company soon. Try to behave. And if you do insist on dropping anything in this one’s shoes, make sure it’s a spider.”

**Author's Note:**

> Entomologist Kylo seemed like a good fit for me. His terrarium is filled with Madagascar hissing cockroaches, if you were wondering.
> 
> Feel free to come say hi on tumblr!


End file.
